Fambly Shambly

I get an e-mail from Amanda almost as I sit down with my first cup of coffee.

"Grrrrr. Look at my drawing from Aaron. "


"Aww that's cute" I reply.
She sometimes likes it when he pretends that he's still her boyfriend. In fact, she had recently talked about getting back together with him. They still sleep in the same bed and they still live together... it would be hard not too.
She then replied with this:
"Is it cute enough to overcome the "Have had a great day. Thanks for being my man, I love what we have." text message I found on his phone from that girl he cheated on me with?? "

Ut oh.

I hate that pit-of-the-stomach feeling you get when you realize you've been cheated on, either emotionally or physically.
"Drinks on me tonight, we should go out."
No response, and so I knew she wasn't into drinking her problems away.
I few photoshopping minutes later I sent her this:


It was then that I got a response of "Oh Anna, I love you, let's work-out later."

Female Logic

Amanda adds more cream to her coffee and looks at me very seriously before saying, "You've not hooked up, he's hooked up with you."
"What?"
"Did you get any pleasure out of it other than making out?"
"No, I wouldn't let him, he was wasted."
"Then you've not hooked up with him. He got pleasure out of it therefore he hooked up with you," she grins and almost looks as if she's going to wink at me.
I looked at her for a moment before smiling and nodding, "I like it, its complete bullshit, but I decided today it would be ok for me to believe that. He did get more pleasure out of it than I did."
"I'm surprised you like him."
"Why?"
"He's nothing like your ex boyfriend and he's somewhat emo which totally isn't you. I didn't think he was your type."
"Amanda, my ex boyfriends range from the controlling-ambitious-Indian-verbal-abuser to noncaring-but-ambitious-Italian-drunkard to life-handed-on-a-silver-platter-I-work- out-more-than-I-eat-Alaskan-dumbass. Really? What is my type?"
"You are more fucked up than I thought."

Fair enough.

Uh... yea...

Sitting across from Amy Jo, I knew I'd have to get the weight off my shoulders if I wanted to continue being her friend. Its just that, I didn't know if she'd be hurt by it or ok with it.
"Hey, Anna, so shit, I can't tell you that, um.. let me draw you a diagram because then I'm technically not telling you it."
Classic Female Logic.
Intriguing that she had something to tell me and I had something to tell her. You never expect the Spanish Inquisition.
I watch her doodle for a few minutes while I sipped on my horrible Denny's coffee and smoked a strong cigarette.
"There," as she slids over a diagram that showed little circles with names written in them and then the bubbles were attached by lines to other bubbled names.
The diagram had shown me that Jon was connected to Becky then there was a break and then it was Nate and Nate was connected to Amy Jo who was then connected back to Jon.
Fuck.
Jon and Amy Jo were good friends that had slipped up one night and had sex.
Becky was my next door neighbor who I knew to have a crush on Jon.
Amy Jo likes Nate and has hooked up with him several times.
Amy Jo hates Becky.
My weight got heavier.
"I can't believe she slept with Jon. He even got detailed with me and said she gagged when he came in her mouth."
"Wow, TMI Amy Jo."
"I know! She's now sleeping with my good friends and then I have to HEAR ABOUT IT!!"
She was irate.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked, seeing the look on my face.
"Uh... I have to tell you something because you are my friend and I feel you should know."
"Oh god."
I reached over to the diagram and drew a line from Becky to Nate.
Shock spread across her face and was followed by a "No way."
I nodded.
"I really hate her now, I don't care if you are friends with her, I hate her."
"Well, I'm certainly not liking her and not hanging out with her recently. She knows you really like Nate, I was so surprised when she told me."
"Ugh, lets finish our coffee and go."

Somehow the weight didn't lift.